A word for the Ladies.

Not that ladies ever listen to me or they ever should, but I have a piece of advise for them that could bode well for the future.

Just because a guy has an accent does not make him hot. It means that he lacks a certain proficiency and command of the English language.

So don't go loco next time you meet some dude that says patty instead of party.

Breaking the Law


Thursday afternoon I found myself driving eastbound on Wilshire towards the sky-scrapers of downtown Los Angeles. Accelerating at a green light, I turn my head to the right and see my good friend officer Norling. My speedometer read 45, so maybe I was safe I slowed down regardless. About eight seconds later, Norling is right behind me and I had my first speeding ticket. If only it was a violation for riding a Vespa sans helmet.

I was going too fast, but I was not going THAT fast. Norling did not like my jokes, or my friends. Maybe he was having a rough day, who knows for sure? He had me down at 42 in a 35 zone, which is a bit annoying. If I am going to be pulled over, I want it to be for like 30 miles over the limit not 7 bush league MPH's. Police state if you ask me.


In any event, my friend is competing in the American Championships of Rock Paper Scissors as I type.

Reading

CheddarTed, his bro Will, and my sister (obviously older one because I don't think my little sister knows how to read) all recommended that I read the book "Freakonomics."

I purchased that book on Tuesday and finished it early Thursday. The only other thing I can do in under two days is complete an entire season of "24," which I did a few times in early May. The book is not exactly about economics. It more or less plays around with data to give you shocking conclusions so that a lot of things you think about are what the Daliy Show Studio smells like . . . . . horseshit.

Some examples: obsessive parenting does not work, it is who your parents are rather than what they do that will affect the outcome of your life.
an infant is much more likely to die playing in a house with a pool in it than at a house with a gun in it.
Members of Congress will always fund measures to prevent terrorism rather than healthcare even though far more Americans will die from obesity/ heart disease that terrorism. The list goes on.

I thoroughly enjoyed the book on all counts besides two. 1) It was not long enough. 2) It did not derride any theories/policy of the great man running this country.

I shall report on the insanity that was the Snoop Youth Football League benefit concert in due time.

Hair

After some gingerly swimming this afternoon and not showering, my hair developed into a very odd shape. I had a hat on, so I could not see the front, but the back of my hair was frizzed up in the shape of a hook. Without the use of any product, this was quite a gravity defying feat. Unfortunately, not many people got to see this and I doubt anyone will ever again because I am getting a nice trim before the academic year begins.

SYFL


Tomorrow evening I am going to a benefit concert at the Greek Theatre in the Hollywood Hills. It benefits the SYFL. The main performers are Ice Cube, Snoop Dog, and the Red Hot Chili Peppers.


For those of you wondering, SYFL is not an STD. It is the Snoop Youth Football League. The fact that Snoop has a youth football league, and that I am paying is completely absurd. Whatever happened to live 8. I believe they benefitted someone.

In any event, I am looking forward to a nice rendition of Californication by RHCP.

Bo-sux

Yesterday I indulged in one of my greatest pleasures besides eating. I watched a day-game. The angels hosted the bosox. It was a nice day and a nice game, but the away fans really annoyed me. They annoyed me to the point that Boston is now tops on my list of hated teams behind the Giants, Red Wings, Yankees, and Manchester United. One thing about all these teams is that they have annoying bandwagon fans, and the same is true for Boston.

Just because you win one World Series, it does not give you license to get tanked and make the stadium yours. These idiots actively try to start fights with other "peaceful fans" like me.

If you are one who enjoys watching your team play road games, act polite and cheer your team, but don't be a d-bag. One other thing that bugs me is that the fans act like they know the players personally and that the players can actually hear them. Yelling "Hey Jonny" in an annoying Boston accent does absolutely nothing for anyone but yourself.

Here's to the A's, Angels, Braves, and Astros winning in October!

Those who know me know that I like to wear shirts that promote the countries of various soccer and hockey teams. Yesterday I naturally put on my Finland 2002 Olympic Hockey team shirt and a pair of jeans. Nothing came out of this till the evening when I went for some frozen yogurt with my sister.

Upon leaving, a man outside the store asks me, "Are you from Finland?"

I reply, "I wish."

"Well, it's a beautiful country," he said.

"I haven't been."

"I played basketball there."

Using my sports knowledge, I said, "They are much better at hockey than basketball."

This man then said, "Finland is the most beautiful country in the world, but Italy is the best at basketball."

Very confused, Kasirer replied, "USA is the best." This is something I never really say in anything, cuz I dislike the US an all fronts besides for their national soccer team.

Realising that this man may have been insane I then got into the car with my sister who had been there for over 30 seconds. She asked me why I always talk to such wierdos and then informed me that the man was homeless.

Moral of the story.... I'm still wearing the Finland shirt over 18 hours later.

FEAT

Yesterday I did something that may classify this boring summer as not so boring. In fact it was my greatest achievement of the summer so far. Me, the Kich, and his lady friend consumed 8 rolls of sushi. This totalled close to 80 pieces of various types of fish, vegetables, and rice. I really handled it like distance athlete. Started off at a moderate pace, slowed down mid-race, and then really pounded the tempura rolls at the end.

While this is no Norman's Kahuna burger, it was still a lot of food. Our server told us that it was the most he'd ever seen for a group of three and subsequently took one roll off of the bill. WOW!

No-no

Upon my return from the Southern Cone, I would like to return to the game of baseball, a game which really gets my emotions going. When Pedro made it look like a no-hitter was actually possible I was put into a huge dilema. Do I root for the Dodgers to get a hit? or Do i become a traitor and anticipate the no-hitter like it was a Chanukah gift?

The choice was easy in my mind. Obviously I betrayed my team and wanted the Dodgers to be on the bad end of a no-hitter. Seeing a no-hitter is probably top 6 in my life's to do list, so when the Dodgers got a hit in the 8th and eventually took the lead, I was crushed realizing that my dream would have to wait for who knows how long.

This leads to a larger moral issue in sports that I will discuss later. The topics include: is it ethical to root against your team and is tanking the season a something that a team can strive to achieve?

Vacation Blog


I am going to be out of the country, uhhh for a while. This means that my blog will take about 10 days off from this lovely work of literature.

Spelling

Ever since spending the fall semester abroad studying in Madrid, my command of the english language has fallen like Hideo Nomo's career has fallen over the past two seasons. My oral skills are around 90% of what they once were, but my spelling is absolutely abysmal. When writing emails, or anything else I get many squiggly red lines under words, and try all different combinations to correct my errors, but usually it is to no avail. I'm not stupid, I just don't remember english that well. So bear that in mind as you read through my blog.